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Chewbacca Stories: Hockey?


I’ve had this Chewbacca Story floating around in my head for a while now. It happened before I had a blog. When I started my blog I hadn’t planned on sharing Chewbacca’s blunders with you all. Then I wrote my first Chewbacca post and it was a hit. I asked some readers who follow me on Twitter if it made a difference whether or not the story is old or recent. One reply from my Tweep @Tygerlylly and fellow Blogger convinced me:

I couldn’t agree more, and so with that in mind, here’s the story.

When I had been working at McDonald’s, I was obligated to shave every day. This wasn’t the case working in the shipping department of an electronics store, so what did I do? I grew a playoff beard. Boy oh boy was this thing beastly; I never noticed how thick my beard could get. I gave Chewbacca a run for the title of Chewbacca during the playoffs. I mention this because this where Chewbacca’s ignorance of our national sport first became evident.

I went into work on the 27th of April, the day after the Habs delivered a crushing 4-1 victory over the Washington Capitals to tie the series at 3 games each.

“Eh, Rob. Explain me this, because me I don’t understand. Why didn’t you shave?”

“Are you kidding? It’s the Playoffs, its tradition not to shave until your team wins or gets eliminated.”

“Yeah Rob, my point exactly.”

“What do you mean Chewie?”

“The Habs won last night didn’t they?’

“Yes they won but the series isn’t over yet, there’s one last game to play against Washington.”

“Oh okay, I understand.” Or so he let me believe.

The next day the Habs played game seven against the Caps. It was do or die for both teams, in my personal opinion the Caps were under more pressure because they were the all out favorites to win the series. At one point they even had a 3-1 series lead over the “underdog” Habs. What a game, from Bergeron’s bullet in the first until Moore’s beauty at 17:84 of the third period, and Washington scoring their only goal shortly after, I was ecstatic as were Habs fans everywhere.

I went into work the day after the game, already imagining the possibilities against Pittsburgh. I didn’t expect any comments from Chewbacca about the game. He didn’t follow hockey, and I seriously thought he understood what I told him two days prior.

“Rob, congrats on your team winning, but I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?”

“Well you told me that you don’t shave until your team is either eliminated or wins. Well, they won, they’re the champions now, no?”

“No Chewbacca, it’s only the first series. There are still three more rounds to go.”

“Oh, OK.” For the next half hour he just sat there. He looked dazed and confused. Finally he walked up to me and said. “Rob, I need your help, I have a new girlfriend.”

“Is she a wookiee?” I couldn’t help it; I had to crack a joke. He didn’t get it.

“No, she’s not a wookiee; she is a big Habs fan though.”

“So what do you need my help for?”

“I need you to teach me about hockey. I sent her a message yesterday to say they were champions, but you say they’re not…can you help me understand hockey so that I don’t look like an idiot anymore?”

“Well, I can try. What do you want to know?”

“Tell me everything I need to know.”

“Do you know any of the Habs?”

“I know Halak.”

“Well that’s a start. Do you know how many players are on the ice at a time?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Well it’s usually 5 on 5 plus a goalie.”

“OK, I see, I imagine the goalie is probably the most important player on the team. Who’s the goalie for the Habs?”

“Halak…You just said his name before.”

“Well I don’t know, that’s why I need your help.”

“OK, so anyway, there are three forwards and two defense men.”

“Whoa, hold on, two defense makes sense, but why three forwards wouldn’t it be confusing if they are always trying to get the ball at the same time?”

“Um, first of all it’s not a ball, it’s a puck. Second, they don’t all go for it at the same time. They pass it back and forth between them to try and get around the other teams players and score a goal. There are three forward positions. Center, left wing and right wing.”

“Oh ok, so you’re trying to tell me that the ice is divided into quadrants and each player patrols his own area?”

“Um, no Chewie. It’s not like that at all.”

“So it doesn’t make sense then, I really don’t get it. I think I should just break up with her.”

He walked away after this, for the rest of the day I was trying to explain some more hockey to him but he just didn’t get it. He told me it was almost as hard to understand as his last year of high school and didn’t understand  why would anyone want to watch something so complicated. This was my first unsuccessful attempt at converting someone to a Habs fan. Sometimes when I wear a Habs t-shirt to work he’ll ask me what kind of t-shirt I’m wearing.

“Hockey eh, people still watch that stuff?” is his reply when I tell him what my t-shirt is.

Yes Chewie we still watch hockey. Always will.

Go Habs Go.

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5 comments on “Chewbacca Stories: Hockey?

  1. OMG seriously? Even if he didn’t break up with this chick she’d have to dump him PDQ if he can’t grasp the difference between a BALL and a PUCK! 10 seconds and he can’t remember the goalie’s name he just stated? No offense to the organization, but slinging burgers at McDonald’s is probably the high end tier of this guy’s working career.

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    • Thanks for the comment, but I don work for McDonald’s anymore, left there in December. Now I work at a store called Central Audio Video. But to be honest, I don’t think he would be able to work at McDonald’s, especially if I was the one doing his interview while I still worked there LOL. Thanks again for the comment!

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  2. LOL. What a character! Now you gotta write something “nice” about this guy. There’s gotta be something. I mean he’s earning an honest buck, after all. :))

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  3. OK. I’ll write something nice. He gets up every morning and shows up at work. And even though it may be short term, he’s got a girlfriend. :)

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