For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that I was planning on writing this post yesterday. But after working a 12 hour shift, I was too tired to spend more time in front a computer screen and so I wrote this post today.
I usually only work with Chewbacca on Fridays, but he was called in on Thursday. We both started at 1 and it was a pretty busy day. Mostly for me though, because Chewbacca hardly does any work, and whatever he does do, I usually have to redo it anyway.
Chewbacca was scheduled to finish at 6 and I was supposed to finish my shift at 9. When it came time for Chewbacca to go home, the shipping manager called him to his desk. He needed to tell Chewbacca something important.
“OK, listen Chewbacca; I have some bad news for you.”
“Why? What’s wrong? Let me guess, you want me to stay until 9?”
“No, don’t worry; you’re not staying until 9. But unfortunately, I have to tell you that this is your last day. I have to let you go. OK? Do you understand what I’m telling you Chewbacca?”
“Yes, I understand, what do you think I am that you always have to ask if I understand. I’m not a little dumbass kid who goes to school. I understand English.”
“So you understand? And you’re OK with that?”
“Yeah I’m OK, why wouldn’t I be? It’s about time, too. I was starting to wonder what you were waiting for. So I’m going to leave now. Bye.”
As he walked out the door of the shipping department, I looked at my manager, smiled and said;
“He didn’t get it, 20$ says he comes back tomorrow.”
“No, I think he understood this time, 20$ you say? Make sure you bring it tomorrow because he’s not coming in, he understood.”
“We’ll see about that boss.”
He didn’t understand. The next day, Chewbacca came in to work at his usual time. I laughed, my boss gave me 20$ then went to go talk to Chewbacca.
“What are you doing here? I fired you yesterday.” He said to Chewbacca.
“What? When the hell did you fire me? You didn’t fire me. I don’t remember you firing me. If you would’ve fired me I would’ve complained to the owner, but I didn’t because you didn’t fire me. When did you fire me? I don’t get it… I don’t understand.”
“Yesterday! When I told you it was your last day!”
“What? I thought you meant it was my last Thursday, I thought you meant that I didn’t have to work on Thursdays anymore.”
“But I asked if you understood what I was saying. You said you understood what I said, that it was about time and you didn’t know what I was waiting for.”
“Yes I did understand, you told me it was my last Thursday. I said it was about time because everybody, except you apparently, knows that no matter what job you go to, it’s not normal to work on a Friday if you work on Thursday. And I always work on Thursday, so that means you were abusing me all this time. Any other job that people work part time, it’s against the law to make us work on Thursday and Friday. You’re supposed to know that. And I said I was wondering what you were waiting for because I was getting hungry and wanted to go home and there was no more stock coming in, we were pretty much done for the day.”
“No, Chewbacca, it’s not against the law to work Thursday and Friday. And, no, you didn’t understand because I fired you and you came back anyway.”
“You never fired me, if you want to fire someone; everybody knows that you have to be specific. You never said the words “you are” and then “fired”. You have to say those words or else it doesn’t count. At least I know what I’m talking about; you can’t even fire someone properly.”
At this point my manager wiped his forehead and cleaned his glasses. He then cleared his throat and said:
“Chewbacca, you’re fired.”
“OK, you see? That was better, now that was specific, now I know that I’m fired. Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“What do you mean, see me tomorrow? I just fired you!”
“I know and you did it properly too. But I’m going to tell my mom to call the owners wife. She’ll give me my job back.”
Considering how dumb Chewbacca usually is about nearly everything, he was right about this; he got his job back. The only difference being that he is on call now instead of being a part timer.